Fear of Success

[james_gsx 16]

Yes, I am starting yet another thread

 

So most of my life, friends and family seem to have decided that I would be the "successful" "rich" one. I would grow up to be very wealthy, blablabla. Although it's nice to constantly hear, "when you make it and you have tons of money" I am starting to wonder if it's actually holding me back. I hear it so often, I sometimes wonder if I really can be wealthy? I feel as if I have a lot of boot to fill, sorta speak.

 

This crosses over to trading. I have noticed (yet not said anything until now) that I greatly understand many concepts, charts, etc. Yet, when it comes to doing things real time I hold myself back and let myself get emotional. Like Soultrader said in another thread that the successful trader has a constant hunger to be successful and come out on top. I am a very competitive person at heart, at work I always strive to sell the most and be on top no matter what I do, sports, selling, whatever. But at trading, I seem to want to prevent myself from being successful.

 

For example, I will make some great trades, then doubt myself and make some stupid trades. After this eats me away, I feel like I don't know enough and I want to learn more and I set myself aside. I get so close to a goal, then I somehow purposefully take a step back. I can honestly say I've never accomplished a true long-term goal. I set them, get halfway, then I get bored and do something else.

 

For my age (19), I am probably pretty successful. I have a $30,000 car that I pay for myself (loan is in my name). I wear designer clothes and not Abercrombie, things like Armani, Prada, etc and it all comes out of my own wallet. But I refuse to believe I am actually successful, I always feel like there is something eating me up inside and I'm not quite there. But when I get "there" I purposefully miss the opportunity. It's like some self destructive path (better yet a game my subconscious mind plays with me), and it's been going on my entire life. Take high school, I didn't do anything the entire 4 years (except study the markets) because for some reason I unconsciously thought getting an A was overrated so I opted for the easy C - I never did my homework yet I always got an A on the tests. I knew that was enough to get by, I never wanted to be the good student.

 

When I used to work at Best Buy my goal was always to work in Magnolia Home Theater. I would get very close, then something would click in my head and I would stop striving for the spot - thus missing it. This went on for nearly 2 years. I did so well selling Digital SLRs they sent me to Dallas for a training - yet after the training I slacked off and felt no more reason to keep going - I was bored. Again, people always expected me to be moved back to Magnolia, yet I kept doing something to prevent myself from going back there.

 

This constant pressure of success from everyone close to me, almost makes me scared to be successful. I know I can be a good trader, but I honestly feel like I hold myself back from being successful on purpose. I don't really know how else to explain it, maybe someone has gone through this in their lifetime and can give me some tips.

[Nvesta81 10]

One thing I've learned in my relatively short time trading the markets (I'm 26) is that trying to rush things or being too eager to achieve can really damage your portfolio and your spirit. This is a patient man's game, you have to take what the markets are willing to give you and just feel comfortable advancing at what seems a slow pace, if you can do that, you may even notice that you're moving forward much faster than it actually seems. Things happen so fast in the markets (intra-day) that your life may seem like it is in slow motion in comparison trying to grab every penny you can squeeze from it. But at your age time is really on your side! I consider myself young to be trading and you've got a pretty big head-start, you have all the opportunity in the world to become successful... time is definitely on your side, but just remember to stay cool and collected, in the end the turtle wins the race in this racket.

 

It's good to be ambitious and to put a bit of pressure on yourself, but sometimes it helps not to focus too much on the destination and just enjoy the journey...

 

Good luck. :thumbs up:

[TinGull 10]

I went through this exact same thing and very recently have started to really come out of it. Once again, I'll plug Anthony Robbins book "Unlimited Power" because it was one of the biggest helps to me in trading and in life. Also, my coach always says...trade with 1 contract. You aren't going to blow up your account with one contract.

 

James, you've got the knowledge, the skills, the plan...the "everything" you need to become a great trader. You first need to ask yourself: Are you much more than you're demonstrating? A couple of weeks ago I asked myself that. I know I've got the skills to pay the bills, I just didn't have the "courage" to always pull the trigger. Am I much more than I am demonstrating now? Sure, I am. I've still got a ways to go, but the most important thing is I KNOW I am there. I'm not close...the goal isn't just out of arms reach...my goal has been reached. Now I just expand upon that goal of being successful.

 

So ask yourself: In this moment in time, are you successful? Absolutely! You still have a trading account right? You're young, have a great car and other material things, too. When you wake up, think of those things and ask yourself "Am I successful, right now in this very moment?" ABSOLUTELY! The more you keep telling yourself that you're successful (not that "one day I want to be successful") the more success you're going to breed.

 

A fellow trader on this board said to me recently "Chris, get it out of your head that you aren't a success yet. You may not have the money yet, but realize you haven't blown out a single account and you've been at it for over a year" (including options trading...10months on minis). So many people will blow out an account and give up. And that happens lots of times within the first few months. So...am I successful for being above water still? Absolutely!

 

Success isn't dependent wealth, nor is wealth dependent on success. Don't measure your success in terms of dollars! While it's great to have fancy things and all, you really want to get to a point where you measure your success by the amount of value you can add into other people's lives. So, maybe instead of thinking "I'm successful when I have a million dollars" I tend to think "I'm successful when I am able to teach others what I know to get them to where I am...independent". I personally don't need craploads of cash. I live in a teeny place and my girl and I share one car (Scion xA), are extremely frugal, grow most of what we eat ourselves so we don't' have to buy stuff at the store...my success is measured in terms of what I can give back. And this board helps me give just a little each day, so lots of my success lies here.

 

Hope that helps. Thanks for letting me ramble on!

[Soultrader 12]

You are definitely on a good start in terms of being young. One thing though I learned though.... as I aged over the years I became alot more fearful and conservative. I used to be fearless because I didnt know any better and didnt have anything to lose. Now, I have alot more responsibility and reputation that I am keen on preserving. At times I do wish I could gain that momentum back. However, patience was learned through experience and time. Which is definitely a positive in the trading game.

 

I am currently 25.. just turned 25 last month. I started my first business at 18, which flunked miserably. Attempted the same business at 20 and did extremely well. Dealt with rare sneakers and apparel. I started playing poker professionally from around 18-19 and built my first trading stake through my poker and business income. Got too absorbed with poker and my biz... as I had zero money when I first went to the US for school. Left college, started day trading, now trading for a firm. In the end, I think if you want something badly you will figure out a way. It is all in the mindset... enough energy into thoughts turn into action. If you really want success in trading, you will start to become alot more aware of the things you do that prevents success. Like Livermore said... "Once you realize what not to do to lose money, you start to win." I think for traders that struggle, admitting to your faults and taking full responsibility is a big challenge. Once you are able to clear that hurdle, you really get into the mindset of treating trading as a business. Trading used to be, well... trading for the first 2 years. Now... its 100% work. 12 hours day in day out is what I put into this game.

 

Sometimes ppl just need a little trigger. In Japanese we call it "Ki' ka ke". Its that chance, opportunity, kick, spark that allows ppl to bloom. Whether it be an environment surrounded by better traders, a trading mentor, etc... dont hold out something you know that will help you. Prolonging your step to success I think is the biggest waste of time. I tend to learn everything in life the hard way.... definitely not proud of it and would avoid it if I could. But I do take pride in my experience.

 

Good luck to you.

[Dogpile 10]

a couple of points:

 

you need to get it out of your head what others say about you and take responsibility for yourself. it is not their fault that you are not living up to your own standards. forget that entire excuse.

 

also, I think you need to think less about the money and more about the set-ups. The set-ups are what matters. From John Carters Mastering The Trade:

"Whenever I focused on the set-ups and not the results, I did fine. But whenever I focused on the results and not the set-ups, I got killed."

 

Think about why you made the trade you did and if you think you had valid reasons for doing it at the time or was it impulsive. If it had good logic and fit your gameplan and the set-up met your pre-defined filters and you still lost money, you should be able to live with that. If it was impulsive, then realize that you made a mistake and you should expect to lose money on impulsive trades. Impulsive trades -- the ones that work and the ones that don't -- when totaled throughout your lifetime, will end up as one big massive loss.

[brownsfan019 17]

James_gsx - first, take a breather brother! You are NINETEEN YRS OLD and light years ahead of your trading 'competition'. I'd suggest making sure you are first enjoying your youth as you'll be an adult soon enough. Seriously, enjoy it.

 

As for holding yourself back, it seems you have at least diagnosed the problem. Now work on it. If you catch yourself doing something stupid, take a step back and say 'what would brownsfan019' do? He'd tell you to pick up your skirt, grab your balls and make some freakin money already. You've got the talent and skills OBVIOUSLY, so stop making excuses and close the deal.

 

That's the adult, salesman approach that I was very good at years ago. You'll get plenty of that soon enough.

 

You need to realize that at 19 yrs old you are way ahead of the game, so now finetune that and you'll be a multi-millionaire by 30 is my prediction, if you stay on your game. There you go, I just did it to you - go get 'em tiger!

[james_gsx 16]

Well I had a lot of time to think about it today, I went into work just to be told to come back at 1. Thanks boss, I missed the rally. I set all my swing trades last night, so I'm going to let them unfold and sit on the sidelines and watch. I also drove to the private airport near my house and watched all the lear jets, it tends to give me a lot of motivation.

 

Brownsfan you're absolutely right, I've noticed that my fear of success could probably be linked to fear of failure. If I'm not successful, I'll feel like I let everyone down. But I need to just get some balls and get it done already.

 

Thanks for the input guys, it helped a lot. I really need to figure out how I can view my trading as my own personal business and not just something I love to do. I believe once I move into my office and am around other traders that will finally click in my head. But I'm definitely more motivated today then I was yesterday, and I just have to make that last.

[Nick1984 10]

I see trading as just another business personally. I work in the financial services industry and have just started trading. I swing trade stocks and just started futures.

 

I had a similar situation where I was always built up to be the successful one among family and friends etc and it can be nerve racking. About a year ago I developed the mind set that I dont give a rats arse about what anyone thinks anymore. That has helped me heaps. The less I care about what others think the more I was able to focus on myself and I have a set plan now to build up my own financial future.

 

As I write this now I'm enjoying this rally hehe sorry you missed it.

 

Anyhoo, I think that you need to try and relax. Your still really young and you shouldn't stress about these things now. You have your whole life ahead of you to stress about success or failure. Once you get married as well no matter how well you do your wife will put you in your place lol so just relax and have fun doing what you do now!

[james_gsx 16]

haha I only missed out on the rally with futures. I bought QQQQ yesterday on the dip to the 8 EMA and a whole bunch of other stuff, I knew the breakout was coming it was just a matter of when. Several of my stocks broke out too and the signals to buy are in, but considering we are near the R3 I am going to wait to pick them up. I don't want to buy at the top when I know it might be the top - that doesn't seem to smart to me. But at least I know the stocks are in the right position. A couple of my stocks are up +5% today, so it's a good day

 

I know I have a lot of life to live, but I want to retire young and teach high school students with the same ambition as me how to trade. I want to teach them what I learn over the years, and give them the same chance a dear friend gave me.

[thetradingdoctor 10]

Thank you so much, James, for stepping up and sharing your experience, strength, hope and fears with us!

 

These are all wonderful answers and suggestions for James. The harsh reality is that a large percentage of traders (some say 80-90%) fail. There are many reasons for this. The main reason is that they do not have a tested trading strategy and plan which they adhere to with rigorous discipline. They cut winners and let losers run. Right now, the markets are rallying like there is no tomorrow, so it's easy to hide. The true test of trading is not how much money you make, rather how much money you keep.

Right now, we are in a global boom of unprecedented proportions. The markets are rallying like there is no tomorrow. A large number of fund managers today were not even trading in the 80's and 90's. They have not seen the devastation of the bear. This is where the rubber will hit the road. Right now, it's party time and it feels fantastic! It is when the cycles change that the true mettle of the trader will become apparent.

 

Apologies for that mini-rant, because I actually forgot to say what I have learned. In my experience, some 50% of traders actually want to lose. I know that sounds hideous and horrible and difficult to believe, but I have seen it now for over 13 years. There are many reasons for this, most of them related to subconcious issues which are deep and difficult to dissect.

 

That said, I believe that if one is truly "called" to trading, willing to put in the really hard work and long hours, and to stay true to discipline, that person can make it through any type of market atmosphere.

 

Trading is a business, just like any other business. You are young, James and you have time to really look at what you are doing and why you are doing it. Always have a business plan. Learn discipline and stick with it. Most importantly, follow your own passion. Your life belongs to you and to no one else. What other people think of you is really none of your business unless you make it so.

 

One of your greatest challenges will be the influence that others have over you and your need to belong and have people like you. The other challenge you will have is your tendency to be a bit contrary, stubborn and somewhat defiant of authority. That said, please don't ever be afraid to speak your own truth and stand in your own integrity. You are blessed with youth, drive and spirit. Please use it wisely as it is a gift and this time will never come again for you. A great trader needs self-compassion, humility and a killer instinct.

If you think about those three qualities, you may see why so many do not make it.

 

We get too soon old and too late smart. Start smart and get smarter. The future belongs to you, James, so please use it wisely.

 

Thank you again for the opportunity to share with you. It is a privilege for me.

 

Doctor Janice

[Nick1984 10]

haha I only missed out on the rally with futures. I bought QQQQ yesterday on the dip to the 8 EMA and a whole bunch of other stuff, I knew the breakout was coming it was just a matter of when. Several of my stocks broke out too and the signals to buy are in, but considering we are near the R3 I am going to wait to pick them up. I don't want to buy at the top when I know it might be the top - that doesn't seem to smart to me. But at least I know the stocks are in the right position. A couple of my stocks are up +5% today, so it's a good day

 

I know I have a lot of life to live, but I want to retire young and teach high school students with the same ambition as me how to trade. I want to teach them what I learn over the years, and give them the same chance a dear friend gave me.

 

I'm hoping that this rally today will influence a pick up on my domestic market. One of my main holding has taken a pummeling over the last couple of days, but i'm trading with a free lot cause its already given me a 160% profit over the last 5 months so I'm just letting my excess run on for tax reasons.

[Guest cooter]

In my experience, some 50% of traders actually want to lose. I know that sounds hideous and horrible and difficult to believe, but I have seen it now for over 13 years. There are many reasons for this, most of them related to subconcious issues which are deep and difficult to dissect.

 

I find this statement quite profound and revealing at the same time.

 

Could you enlighten us as to what issues might compel a trader to actively or passively want to lose while trading?

[james_gsx 16]

You know it really is amazing how well plans work. When I started back in February with real money I printed out a plan every single morning and shared it with my family. Then for some reason, I stopped. I felt like it was a waste of time and I couldn't focus on finding stocks.

 

One thing led to another, I was looking for the holy grail. Then it hit me, I didn't have a plan. Now every day I have that plan sitting infront of me next to my weekly plan. I also have a trading plan for the year, and I never put down dollar goals but objectives - such as focus on capital management, focus on proper trade execution, do not get emotional, stops happen follow the plan, etc.

 

After I started using my plan again (the same time I stopped using indicators and started only looking at internals, price, and tape) I started doing a much better job trading. It all makes much more sense again. As I said in my intro that short period of time cost me a lot of money, but it was well worth the harsh reality when it finally hit.

 

I'll make more mistakes in long path, but I'm ready for them. If anything, I love to be knocked over just to fight and get back on top. I look forward to the coming bear market - it will be a challenge for me and I want to prove to myself I can come out on top. I was born October 15th 1987, we all know what happened a few days later

[Nick1984 10]

I've never traded a real bear market in my time but my simple dumb logic says that I should just trade it like a bull market just opposite!

 

I think you're 100% correct on trading plans. When I started with futures I had no real written down plan and I just shot from the hip with my trades and got lucky sometimes and sometimes not, but in a bull market you don't need to be a genious to make some dough.

 

Only this week I've started keeping a journal and recording all my trades good and bad and then analyse what my mistakes were and it has helped heaps. If you can objectively look at yourself at the end of the week and compare it to your goals then you have a quantifiable objective that you can say you achieved or failed to achieve.

 

Once you know if you've failed then you can disect your trades and see where things went wrong. I also write down my emotions as I trade so I can compare my decisions to my mental state and that helps as well. Over time hope to learn from my own mistakes and see if there is any correlation between bad trades and a particular emotion.

 

Good posts James, you're really driven for a nineteen year old. Lol im only 22 and I feel like a grandpa now haha.

[TinGull 10]

I find this statement quite profound and revealing at the same time.

 

Could you enlighten us as to what issues might compel a trader to actively or passively want to lose while trading?

 

cooter, a lot of it has to do with how most people have an inherent desire for struggle. You always hear growing up that you need to work hard, go to school, earn a living. Everything involves much work, and when people enter into almost anything, they automatically try and find the ways it's going to be difficult in order to overcome those difficulties right off the bat.

 

Lots of people, myself included, feel that things can never be as easy as they really are. I have struggled with this my whole life, only knowing I've been battling it for the past few months. Trading has brought that to the forfront of my mind. I tend to think that the market will outsmart me. It's really *not* showing me what it is, but instead I should think the opposite because the market really is going to fool me. I constantly battle with the need for struggle. Today was a perfect example. I was in on the rally very early on NQ, at 1912.75, and was stopped out for a small loss. Did I get back in? Nope. Why? Because the whole day I thought, this market is gonna reverse right when I get long because the money can't be this easy to make. Was it really that easy? Yup, sure was. I kicked myself the WHOLE day. When the YM was up 88 points, I said...it can't go up much further...120 points is good for the YM so I'll start watching for short opps. None panned out. Instead YM rocketed higher.

 

So...I am in that 50% that the doc talked about who has a desire to struggle/fail. I realized that maybe 3 months ago and have been working diligently to overcome it, which I know I will. It'll just take practice with regards to trusting myself.

[Guest cooter]

cooter, a lot of it has to do with how most people have an inherent desire for struggle. You always hear growing up that you need to work hard, go to school, earn a living. Everything involves much work, and when people enter into almost anything, they automatically try and find the ways it's going to be difficult in order to overcome those difficulties right off the bat.

 

Lots of people, myself included, feel that things can never be as easy as they really are. I have struggled with this my whole life, only knowing I've been battling it for the past few months. Trading has brought that to the forfront of my mind. I tend to think that the market will outsmart me. It's really *not* showing me what it is, but instead I should think the opposite because the market really is going to fool me. I constantly battle with the need for struggle. Today was a perfect example. I was in on the rally very early on NQ, at 1912.75, and was stopped out for a small loss. Did I get back in? Nope. Why? Because the whole day I thought, this market is gonna reverse right when I get long because the money can't be this easy to make. Was it really that easy? Yup, sure was. I kicked myself the WHOLE day. When the YM was up 88 points, I said...it can't go up much further...120 points is good for the YM so I'll start watching for short opps. None panned out. Instead YM rocketed higher.

 

So...I am in that 50% that the doc talked about who has a desire to struggle/fail. I realized that maybe 3 months ago and have been working diligently to overcome it, which I know I will. It'll just take practice with regards to trusting myself.

 

I must have something wrong with my setup because the NQ never traded as low as 1912.75 during RTH today on my screens.

 

In any event, it's the people around me who feel that life can't be as easy as it is - they make it a struggle for themselves, or try to make it a struggle for everyone.

 

Folks who like to pull other people down, just because they can't stand to see you succeed.

 

So, basically, I've isolated myself and my activities from those who are negative in their thoughts, feelings, words, deeds and actions towards me.

 

Keeps things real simple.

 

Focus on the target, and channel your positive energy towards meeting, achieving and exceeding your goals, and helping those around you who want to help themselves grow along the way.

 

You'd be surprised what a difference that can make in your own attitude, approach and results during the trading day.

[TinGull 10]

I must have something wrong with my setup because the NQ never traded as low as 1912.75 during RTH today on my screens.

 

Youre right...I was just frazzled and misquoted.

[darthtrader 10]

I think in the past 2 months i've watched all the CBOT webinars and the best thing I got from it was from either Carter or Person, I can't remember who. It was something like that at this point for him trading is like going to work at a factory and operating a machine.

To me thats probly the best goal to set as opposed to % gains or money wise and is my long term goal now. I mean really think of how easy trading would be that if when you woke up it was like "looking forward" to going to work at a factory.

[BlowFish 10]

Yes, I am starting yet another thread

 

So most of my life, friends and family seem to have decided that I would be the "successful" "rich" one. -snip-

 

doing things real time I hold myself back and let myself get emotional. -Snip-

 

For example, I will make some great trades, then doubt myself and make some stupid trades. - snip - I get so close to a goal, then I somehow purposefully take a step back. I can honestly say I've never accomplished a true long-term goal. I set them, get halfway, then I get bored and do something else. -Snip-

 

This constant pressure of success from everyone close to me, almost makes me scared to be successful. -Snip-

 

James I really empathise with what you (could almost be talking about me). You know what? I came to completely the opposite conclusion. I was (actually and still am) scared of failure. I don't want to let all those friends and family down, I don't want to let myself down I don't want to waste all that 'talent' all that potential. Must be hard to live up to all those expectations right? Perhaps the reason you 'get close to a goal then step back' is because it is more comfortable say to yourself "I haven't tackled that yet", easier than "I tried and failed" (letting all those people down in the process).

 

I think you might enjoy the Carol Dwek Mindset book (Soul reviews it elsewhere). It deals with this sort of stuff from a certain point of view but tackles it head on. Its good. I think you would find it very interesting and relevant regardless whether its failure or success that is bothering you.

 

Cheers.

[torero 10]

This is an excellent topic, thanks James for starting it. I think there is an element in human nature to do and become on what people around you expect you to be. There is plenty of sociological and psychiatric evidence support this argument. But it's just as interesting to do and become the opposite of what people around you expect you to be. It's the burden of NOT disappointing them of our failures and insecurities. I'm sure athletes feel this way when they're at the top of their game and there's no where left to go but down. I think this is where they either thrive on the pressure or crumble from that pressure.

 

Trading display this same anxiety on how we either face our moment of truth. I'm not sure how these folks see you but if they had such high expectations, it's a hard to keep that level constantly. My strategy has always been to downplay any attempts of people building me up too high by shrugging it off or attributing it to luck, etc. This way, I won't take myself all the credit for any success (I see luck plays a big part in trading as well as in life, but preparation for luck makes a huge end results). I never promise more than I can deliver, just the minimum and anything above that is a positive surprise.

 

I don't want to sound any way negative but as a positive constructive observation. Driving nice car and brand names will put you high in people's eyes, leading them to think and to expect you to be successful. Maybe in a way, this is pressure you yourself set up by seeing how you carry yourself and what you carry with you. It's a great feeling, don't get me wrong. But these subtleties carry certain pressure where people are watching you because you chose to stand out from the crowd. Just an observation.

[thetradingdoctor 10]

Fear of success is related to several aspects. It has to do with internal conflict. For example, if you have someone you know ( immediate family, friend, relative, someone in the media or film etc) who has lots of money and success, you might want that money and success, but something inside of you rebels against it because you don't like something about that person. Perhaps it is the manner in which the person has made money, perhaps there is something in the character, personality, value system or any number of other distinguishing factors, that repel you from that person. In this situation, conflict arises. You want to be like that person re: getting money and success but you don't want to be like that person because you don't like what they stand for. Subconsciously, you tell yourself that if you make that money and success you will be like the person you can't stand. As much as part of your brain wants to have it all, be the guy with the big car and house, you don't really deeply want it. That sets up a desire to lose. If you win, you might turn out to be like the person you can't tolerate.

 

This is the basis of the subconscious desire to lose.

 

The most common examples of this are those from wealthy families that end up "hating" their parents and deliberately rebeling against them. It is seen as rebellion, but it really is a desire to be a loser. I had a trader tell me a while ago that he hated his parents because they threw money at him all the time he was growing up. He didn't want the money, rather he wanted them to notice him, to look at him, to spend time with him and to show by small acts of kindness that they loved him. Every time they "threw money at me" I hated them more and I was determined "never to be like them."

 

Then, he asked me why he was not able to make any money in the markets despite years of trying. "I paid for the best systems and seminars I could find, I spent tons of money on newsletters and hired programmers to get mechanical trading systems up and running for me. Still, I lose year after year. What the #@!^ is going on?"

 

How would you respond to this trader? What would you ask him?

 

Great topic and wonderful participation all, and thanks!

 

Doctor Janice

[PYenner 10]

When other people impose expectations on you it becomes like a prison or a straightjacket, you rebel because it is not about you, it is about them.

If you succeed, they will say it took no effort.

If you fail it will be because you are a total loser.

Either way they try to rob you of motivation and support.

 

Sometime you will chose YOUR path and to hell with everyone else.

The sooner you find your own path the better.

Stop listening to the "go nowhere" people.

You will have to chose, even though it defines your future, a straightjacket that is voluntarily worn because it becomes one you want to wear.

Who are you, what do you want?

To me the markets are one thing worth wanting.

 

One way or another, try to get rid of the baggage of other people's expectations and your irritation over their stupidity. They are only trying to run your life because they dont have lives of their own. They are life vultures. Get on with your own choices, your own life. You must chose and claim your own life. Until you do that you have only half a life. Become your own master and to hell with those who would play at being your master/manipulator.

 

You have a bigger job ahead of you in that area than most of us.

But it other ways you are well ahead of most.

The markets seem to be what you want.

If so, identify with it, enjoy it, become it, live it.

 

When you go into battle, leave your baggage behind you.

Your hands must be free if your are to win.

 

You have "spectators" sitting on your shoulder watching what you do.

We all have that problem in some form.

The market is your mistress, it must be just you and her, no spectators.

Focus everything on your mistress your pleasure, exclude the spectators, the joy robbers who seek to detach you from your pleasure. Take your pleasure, claim it for yourself, it is your life, live it with a passion not a half measure.

In this one pleasure, be a totally selfish bastard and love it full measure.

 

Enjoy the contest, get into it, no half measures, no half life, no vultures, make a score, big time, for real, for you, do it, love it.

Expect to get a few bloody noses btw

[feb2865 10]

Beautiful thread James and thanks for sharing

 

I'll try to be short as my health is still shaky..but willing to get better

 

I definitely feel your emotions. It has been like looking myself back in 1980 - I was 15 years old and a runner (not to be confused with front running) for a pit trader - a big shot back then.

 

One year later, this big shot felt "sick"(sipping margaritas in the bahamas) and called in saying "put the runner on the pit" I felt like a chicken with a head cut off. I hated trading for years but I said "well is good, anyway I have my pocket full of change and the chicks are handy"

 

To make the story short, trading to me has become more than success. It is my life. I live and breathe the markets.

 

I had a goal to be retired by the age of 25. Look at me now, 42 and still around. Actually that big shot trader is 80 something and still trades

 

You had good advice from wonderful people in this forum, willing to help as always.

 

I would like to add with all respect of everyone who has advised you the following

 

1)Don't rush yourself up in this business. Time and patience pays. Take your time and relax.

 

2)Be careful when your pockets start to get filled with serious cash. You don't want to know how much I have wasted in this life.

 

3) on the technical side, is good to read books, listen to experienced traders, etc. But ultimately you have to develop your own fingerprint. Don't copy-cat other people, which are pretty much in the business of selling seminars and books trying to sell their own "fingerprint" which not necessarily would fit your personality, style, habits etc. Something will work for you and something will not. Use wisdom and analyze carefully every single piece of advice your receive.

 

4) Trade what you see ***** as is happening**** you have a small window of opportunity hopefully everyday, don't let it go. Do an estimate of the risk prior any trade and get out when things go south. You're in this business to preserve your capital not to make money. The market will reward you as a result of your dedicated and excellent method of capital preservation. Think about it. There's plenty of Morgan Stanley's...oh sorry I wanted to say "predators" outhere waiting for newbies with this "I gotta make a killing in the market NOW " mentality, to rip them off. Although is good to have an attitude towards the market, in my experience, it's better to watch your prey behind the bushes and wait for the right moment to jump in.

 

Ultimately we're all speculators in this business. We could only have an educated guess in our entry, but the rest is up to the market to decide. One thing that has worked for me is that in my mind, is my money on the line, meaning that everytime I push a trade, I have a pre-conceived notion on what this trade should go. If not, I am out in order to take a second look. But this is my fingerprint. I am saying this just in case you want to add it to your trading arsenal.

 

Be blessed

 

Raul

[james_gsx 16]

When other people impose expectations on you it becomes like a prison or a straightjacket, you rebel because it is not about you, it is about them.

If you succeed, they will say it took no effort.

If you fail it will be because you are a total loser.

Either way they try to rob you of motivation and support.

 

Sometime you will chose YOUR path and to hell with everyone else.

The sooner you find your own path the better.

Stop listening to the "go nowhere" people.

You will have to chose, even though it defines your future, a straightjacket that is voluntarily worn because it becomes one you want to wear.

Who are you, what do you want?

To me the markets are one thing worth wanting.

 

One way or another, try to get rid of the baggage of other people's expectations and your irritation over their stupidity. They are only trying to run your life because they dont have lives of their own. They are life vultures. Get on with your own choices, your own life. You must chose and claim your own life. Until you do that you have only half a life. Become your own master and to hell with those who would play at being your master/manipulator.

 

You have a bigger job ahead of you in that area than most of us.

But it other ways you are well ahead of most.

The markets seem to be what you want.

If so, identify with it, enjoy it, become it, live it.

 

When you go into battle, leave your baggage behind you.

Your hands must be free if your are to win.

 

You have "spectators" sitting on your shoulder watching what you do.

We all have that problem in some form.

The market is your mistress, it must be just you and her, no spectators.

Focus everything on your mistress your pleasure, exclude the spectators, the joy robbers who seek to detach you from your pleasure. Take your pleasure, claim it for yourself, it is your life, live it with a passion not a half measure.

In this one pleasure, be a totally selfish bastard and love it full measure.

 

Enjoy the contest, get into it, no half measures, no half life, no vultures, make a score, big time, for real, for you, do it, love it.

Expect to get a few bloody noses btw

 

WOW! I can not tell you how true this is.

 

This is something I haven't really shared with anyone, and it's kind of a big thing in my life. But my parents (my dad especially) always pressured me about doing good in school and going to college. Well my senior year I got fed up with high school and dropped out and got my GED. Since then he has been on my ass about going to college, saying things like, "You know all this stuff, why not go to college?". Sounds good, but I always hated it. It's that expectation of going that has always held me back. My dad and his side of the family always believed in going to school and getting a good job.

 

For a few months I really just fit the profile of an average drop out. I didn't do anything, I made 8 bucks an hour at Best Buy working part time. I really wasn't going anywhere. Then I ran across my old business teacher (he has helped with a lot, I was one of the first to win 1st place at State for DECA). The first thing he asked me was, "how is your trading going and how are your businesses going?". Thats when it really hit me, I left so I could pursue my own passion and do what I wanted to do, I would have to make my own path and it would take a lot of hard work but that's what I'm all about, that is the kind of person I am.

 

Ever since then I have been pushing myself harder and harder to do better in trading. I have my setbacks (like when I posted this) but overall I am a much better person. I work at Nordstrom and it's not the best job for me, but if I'm going to be there then I want to be the best. But my focus is on trading, I left school to pursue it and thats what I'm going after.

 

I know so many people who go to college and study business because thats what everyone else is doing and thats what their parents say. They take no time to figure out what they want to do, and who they really are.

 

The hardest part about going on your own path is listening to all the people who doubt you. If I got a dollar for every time someone told me I couldn't do what I'm doing now, I'd be one of the most wealthy guys on this forum. One kid seemed to make it his personal goal everyday to tell me how I couldn't do something. He would say I couldn't get a job at a trading firm, couldn't become a professional, because I dropped out. He said it wasn't possible and that my life is just a big f*** up. Well guess what, I make a lot more money than he does and he was forced to join the military because all he did was sit around all day and play on the computer.

 

I will go to college some day, I want to. But I won't study anything related to business or economics. I want to study history since thats what I most enjoy, maybe math. But I will go because it's what I want, not because my parents say thats what I have to do to become anything.

[torero 10]

Well, James, you have one quality that will help you in your trading: doing your best at whatever you decide to do. You will to want to be the best salesman while you're at Nordstrom or Best Buy, even though it's not your true calling. That is a great quality. Can't tell you how many of us do everything half-ass when our responsibility requires us to do it (I included). Doing everything with great care and devotion, that's a class act.