Trading when there has been a personal tragedy

[Nick1984 10]

Have you ever traded when you've had a personal tragedy happen which makes you either very hurt or angry? I.e: You've just broken up with someone; there's been a death of someone close etc...

 

If so how do you get around these types of mental trauma?

 

Lots of people have different tolerances to these types of events and different ways of coping with it. I personally find that I think of things in a "grand scheme" type of way so that any action that happens here is small in significance to the "grand scheme" so I try not to cry over spilt milk so to speak.

 

How do you cope with these situations so that it doesn't effect your work?

[Kiwi 16]

I stop trading when I've had a fight with my teenage daughter ... I just take the day off.

[TinGull 10]

My mom passed away last summer (at 53yrs old) and at that point was when i took on trading full time. She was a lady who lived the American dream, owned many of her own businesses and worked like a dog all her life. So...I took a cue from that and decided to continue on with her legacy of working my butt off to succeed and provide for myself, and not have to answer to someone else (except her when she haunts me in my dreams! hehe).

 

Dealing with personal tragedy, especially a death, is very tough. But...I don't look at it as a bad time. I look at it as a great entry into something new, a different path to walk down. I know my mom wouldn't want anyone sad over her departure, so I'm not gonna do that. Anyways....just ramblin now....But I say if tragedy strikes, get on with it. If it takes only a day to get over, thats great! I took about 2 weeks off from trading after my mom passed, and got back on the bandwagon.

[wrbtrader 10]

Have you ever traded when you've had a personal tragedy happen which makes you either very hurt or angry? I.e: You've just broken up with someone; there's been a death of someone close etc...

 

If so how do you get around these types of mental trauma?

 

Lots of people have different tolerances to these types of events and different ways of coping with it. I personally find that I think of things in a "grand scheme" type of way so that any action that happens here is small in significance to the "grand scheme" so I try not to cry over spilt milk so to speak.

 

How do you cope with these situations so that it doesn't effect your work?

 

Hi Nick,

 

Everybody reacts differently to tragedy or high stressful situations.

 

Some traders can get back into trading within a few days while others takes weeks and some much longer.

 

My three biggest losing trading days all occurred after either a tragic death in the family or tragic death of a very close friend.

 

What have I learned?

 

No matter how much time I take off from trading after tragedy...when I do return I will only trade small position size and reduce the number of trades for a few trading days or weeks regardless if I think I'm mentally ready to go back to normal trading.

 

In regards to stressful situations...best to take the day off (argument with loved ones, physical injury, health related problems et cetera) because having a losing trading day when you could have taken the day off only makes things seem worst.

 

Thus, don't use profits to help you feel better because that will imply your trading your emotions...not good for trading and will not allow you to properly deal with what is really going on.

 

For example, I have a close friend that had many years of consecutive profitable trading (6 figure income) until he went through a ugly divorce that involved children.

 

He had his worst drawdown period ever and had his first losing year.

 

However, as soon as the divorce was settled and whom got the kids (he did)...

 

He was back to profitable trading within a few months and has been profitable for a few year (6 figure income) since that ordeal.

 

Simply, trading itself is stressful and when you throw in stressful events from our personal lives...

 

It's tough to stay discipline and difficult to stay focus on the task of trading.

 

Also, trading is no different from any other profession.

 

It's not uncommon to hear about someone going on a leave of absence from their job for 1-12 months after a tragic death in their immediated family.

 

Conclusion is that we really need to take time off from the markets when stress like this occurs.

 

Then when things seem to be managable again, return to trading to only take it slow (small position size) until we get into the flow of things again.

 

Just the same, when something unusual (negative) occurs in your trading after returning...

 

Stop trading and don't return until you've had the opportunity to resolve or understand the emotions your still trying to cope with (get professional help or counseling if needed).

 

Mark

(a.k.a. NihabaAshi) Japanese Candlestick term

[Nick1984 10]

My mom passed away last summer (at 53yrs old) and at that point was when i took on trading full time. She was a lady who lived the American dream, owned many of her own businesses and worked like a dog all her life. So...I took a cue from that and decided to continue on with her legacy of working my butt off to succeed and provide for myself, and not have to answer to someone else (except her when she haunts me in my dreams! hehe).

 

Dealing with personal tragedy, especially a death, is very tough. But...I don't look at it as a bad time. I look at it as a great entry into something new, a different path to walk down. I know my mom wouldn't want anyone sad over her departure, so I'm not gonna do that. Anyways....just ramblin now....But I say if tragedy strikes, get on with it. If it takes only a day to get over, thats great! I took about 2 weeks off from trading after my mom passed, and got back on the bandwagon.

 

I can relate to your story in many ways. My mum hasn't passed on yet though but similar life story. It's inspirational to me and a driving motivator to want to perpetuate the legacy she's worked hard to create. Best of luck to you

[Nick1984 10]

Hi Nick,

 

Everybody reacts differently to tragedy or high stressful situations.

 

Some traders can get back into trading within a few days while others takes weeks and some much longer.

 

My three biggest losing trading days all occurred after either a tragic death in the family or tragic death of a very close friend.

 

What have I learned?

 

No matter how much time I take off from trading after tragedy...when I do return I will only trade small position size and reduce the number of trades for a few trading days or weeks regardless if I think I'm mentally ready to go back to normal trading.

 

In regards to stressful situations...best to take the day off (argument with loved ones, physical injury, health related problems et cetera) because having a losing trading day when you could have taken the day off only makes things seem worst.

 

Thus, don't use profits to help you feel better because that will imply your trading your emotions...not good for trading and will not allow you to properly deal with what is really going on.

 

For example, I have a close friend that had many years of consecutive profitable trading (6 figure income) until he went through a ugly divorce that involved children.

 

He had his worst drawdown period ever and had his first losing year.

 

However, as soon as the divorce was settled and whom got the kids (he did)...

 

He was back to profitable trading within a few months and has been profitable for a few year (6 figure income) since that ordeal.

 

Simply, trading itself is stressful and when you throw in stressful events from our personal lives...

 

It's tough to stay discipline and difficult to stay focus on the task of trading.

 

Also, trading is no different from any other profession.

 

It's not uncommon to hear about someone going on a leave of absence from their job for 1-12 months after a tragic death in their immediated family.

 

Conclusion is that we really need to take time off from the markets when stress like this occurs.

 

Then when things seem to be managable again, return to trading to only take it slow (small position size) until we get into the flow of things again.

 

Just the same, when something unusual (negative) occurs in your trading after returning...

 

Stop trading and don't return until you've had the opportunity to resolve or understand the emotions your still trying to cope with (get professional help or counseling if needed).

 

Mark

(a.k.a. NihabaAshi) Japanese Candlestick term

 

Good advice there.

 

Everyone does react differently to emotional trauma. I think that the more life experience one has the better equipped to deal with these things. I think that you have to know yourself as intimately as you know the markets. Learning your own emotional and mental boundaries is very important because your life is ever changing and your persona changes as time goes by. The person you were 5 years ago is most likely not the same person as who you are today. If you spend some time for inward reflection and objective analysis on your own personality traits and how you deal with emotional trauma this will eventually pay dividends in your trading life.

[lrushing 10]

One of the many joys day trading provides to many individuals is freedom.

 

This emotional state of freedom has a tendency to create a mindset of carefree. It is important to remember that as traders, each and everyday, you are competing among some of the best minds and financially savvy individuals and institutions in the world. Hence, it is always paramount that you are the most prepared you can possibly be.

 

Enter each trading day in the best shape mentally and physically you can. Anything less than this puts you at a disadvantage that you just cannot afford to have. Learn to take as much time as you can away from the markets to sustain a balanced lifestyle.

 

For most, trading is tough enough as it is, and not being at your best only makes the journey more challenging and difficult. Remember, there are very few second chances, and even fewer third chances in the markets.