jaysmith124

I observe my thought processes. I am constantly trying to be aware identify problematic beliefs. Taking the situation out of context. Mindful of self talk(feeling) being extreme, exaggerated, positive, or negative. Is my belief habitual? Do I need to challenge it, and identify alternative interpretations that could be possible? A more accurate reflection of my reality? Here are some distortions I may find in others, and/or in myself. black and white thinking, all or none thinking, self blame, mind reading, catastrophizing, overgeneralization, heaven's reward fallacy, fallacy of change, fortune telling, "Should" statements, labeling, being right, personalizing, jumping to conclusions, negative filtering, minimizing the positive, emotional reasoning, control fallacy. confusing the emotional consequences of a low probability outcome with a high probability outcome. (Or, visa versa.) Dealing in an environment of uncertainty takes a certain personality. One situation carries a different emotional intensity for some than for others. Many do not survive, because they fall victim to fear based emotions, and a fight/flight, avoidance, state of mind. Decisions and behavior become irrational. No logic, no reason. People end up dead because of panic when lost in a wilderness environment. They drown in oceans, lakes, and pools because of panic. Well, we don't die in the stock market, but we do ask ourselves, Why did I do that? But with enough training, and practice, at graduating levels many can build self-efficacy by testing new hypothesis(beliefs) in this particular environment. Some need more time than others, so what. What am I afraid might happen? What does this mean if it is true? What does this mean about me, my life, and future? What is the worst that can happen if it is true? What is the reward I get for not pulling the trigger? What will other people(s) feel and think about me? Am I comparing myself to others? Mindfulness has helped me get to know myself better, and to take away the emotional garbage. There are no hard rules, and it takes balance. The focus should be on what works, not necessarily needing to know why. I know why I do most everything, and why I feel the way I do. I believe I will start trading for a living real soon here after much work over the last year and a half. I am "Cool Headed" as opposed to anxiety ridden, and on the verge of panic, as in the past. I am very thankful I have not given up.

Thanks! I feel fortunate to have found this forum and the quality post. Especially, helpful (to me) is Rande, FXgirl, and Ingot54. I hope you don't mind ZDO that it seems we have gotten off topic, but you're thread has attracted a couple good psychologists that talk the same language I have studied, and I've taken advantage of it for it has given me the feeling that I am not alone. Hearing concepts repeated in different words helps me to stay on track. Well, I took a trade this morning, and the emotion of fear/anxiety compelled me to get out for no reason. I will post it here as I did on the thread "Trading For A Living" in the money management Forum. I this reaction was the same as if I was using 2000 or 3000 shares, but I will continue with 100 for at least a week before possibly jumping to 500 shares. FCX.avi

I reacted on emotions of fear/anxiety to get out. FCX.avi

When I made a decision to trade for a living, I wanted to see somebody post results just to solidify in my mind that it is possible. I have had a thought to post such transparency, but I am still contemplating the real purpose I want to do this. (Is it useful to my life purpose) But for now I am going to try and post an example clip should I decide to go through with the idea. I will record the entry and exit showing the trading results. It should be more than 10 second recording to show the trade executions. PNC.avi

Yes, I also have "Authentic Happiness" by Martin Seligman on my reading list.

Interesting. It was easier for me to deduce that the mind is the software, and the brain is the hardware. By the way, I had an opportunity this morning and hesitated. The resulting paper trade produced .38 cents. I have to get ready and be somewhere, but I will stay determined to trade this week. I don't know what good will come out of it, but I want to share my fills and results on video for some reason. I think it might be because of my past experiences dealing with a few gurus who are not transparent yet wanted money for basic information. I need to "Stop it". It is not in my best interest to worrying about others, or wanting to muckrake others for having a value system that takes advantage of others. (Unless I am protecting people close to me) Also, an alternate thought is that it could be that my Child contaminated Adult needing recognition, accolades, love, understanding, etc.. Human needs not being fulfilled in other areas of my life. I am purposefully being demonstrative to show how I've been challenging my thoughts/feelings, actions, beliefs, and connecting them to my values, which in turn is connected to a purpose, or greater meaning. This has been working making changes to my mind, which enables me to deliberately strive for frequent peak experiences.

FXGirl: Thanks for the resources. I'll be interested to find out more. Another thing I want to add to my last post is that after examining my thoughts and feelings after trading profitably, I have a tendency to stop trading. On an implicit level, I minimize, and discount, the reward for my skill and ability to luck. With this awareness, I realizing this limiting habit is a remnant most likely from depression, or low esteem. We are usually emotionally charged, and motivated to change by either desperation, or love. I will have to accept that I will be trading out of desperation, until the, calm assertive, relaxed, confident, loving state takes over. Until after my results have been repeatedly validated.

Hi: No, I don't. I just think that it may help me think clearly, and be more assertive. It's for Depression/Anxiety, and with these states the brain loses its creativity, energy, etc., and the tendency is to be in a fight/flight defensive state. The intensity of this problem has pretty much dissipated with talk therapy, and my own reading and work. I am giving myself until April 7th to start a plan I've devised. I have come a long way building my self-efficacy, esteem, and the belief that I can change thoughts/feelings, behaviors, beliefs, and values. I have received intensive trauma therapy for PTSD. It took care of, or made improvement, with all stuck points that I’ve examined. I have realized that with trading, I start experiencing a form of PTSD. When an opportunity to trade appears, it’s like I am alerted to danger. It is a stressor that stimulates past traumatic memories from loses, and other stuff unrelated to trading that has nothing to do with the present. When I press through this emotion, and enter the trade, the stress turns to distress and my state is definitely in fight/flight mode. It’s an automatic defensive emotional response, and state of mind, I need to keep examining, and break apart. My self-prognosis is daily exercises in relaxation techniques to maintain a calm assertive Adult state, and to desensitize the stressor. My belief is that I will win at least $1,000 dollars out of every three to four trades using 2000 per trade. With repetition, I will validate this new belief until it becomes automatic, and a daily routine. I know what to do! But I still have a thought wishing I had a coach watching my back, and who expected me to perform, because he or she believes in me. And he or she has the skill to trade for income. I recognize that I need to be aware of this limiting thought and “stop it!” (I liked the video I saw on another thread, and re-posted it below) If I am in a Parent contaminated Adult, or Child contaminated Child, I am not in the present. I will want to dominate/control, or be submissive/controlled. I will experience guilt/shame from past memories, or worries from anticipating future events. It is in the present state that I can let go and accept going with the flow. Practicing mindfulness is a new tool and newly acquired skill allowing me to be aware of my thoughts/feelings, beliefs. This is how I’ve released a lot of fears I had of what others think of me. To desensitize the emotions, the thought of using only 100 shares doesn’t make sense to me. It makes me feel like a piker for one thing, and I have tried it. I still experience the same defensive fearful, emotional reaction. I have a memory of the last day I tried this and I won 1.10 points, or $110 dollars. It should have been $1,100 dollars. Well, it is not working for me. I am not trading at all.(except paper trading) So, it is reasonable to start with 100 shares again until I can trade every day for a week before increasing maybe 500 shares for the next week. Etc. I am currently feeling anxious thinking about what I want to do this week. Well, enough talk. It’s time to act, and be, copasetic. Now, I need to perform. [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1g3ENYxg9k]YouTube - Bob Newhart-Stop It!![/ame]

"Reorganize belief" is a new term for me, but I think I am working on it by connecting my thinking process to my beliefs, which support my values, and meaningfulness and to serve a purpose. I had become disassociated from myself, others, my environments, and the world, without realizing the importance of connectedness being a support system in these areas. Now, I do not want to lose the momentum I am on. I need to write down and review (self talk) to insure I stay on this new path of growth. It is still a habit to feel lethargic if I don't stay on a schedule of exercise and good diet. I need to engage in activities (to live; to feel connected), but it takes money. I can get the money I need to live a full life from trading, but when the opportunity to take a trade appears, it triggers a diffident state of mind. I have had an underlying belief that I will be begrudged by others if, and when they believe, that I have more money than most, and that it is easy to get it. I have to remind myself that have dispelled this old belief. That it is only some people who will begrudge me, and so what? In the past, I let others bother me in this negative way. (On an implicit level, I feel like Sherman "The Nutty Professor", afraid to be himself, but that’s not all, and it's all in my head. It’s irrational) I believe the focus of my attention, and power of emotion, is in realizing the risk when the odds are much greater that I will realize the reward. Letting Go, and Acceptance, is needed, and I am stuck wanting to stay in a familiar, safe, comfortable place, which is limiting natural human growth, and potential. In transactional Analysis it is explained that we have a Parent, Adult, and Child. It has been mentioned on this forum about taking responsibility and being an Adult. With this in mind, I believe certain events such has taking risks trigger my State change from Adult to Child wanting security, safety, acceptance, belonging, needing permission to act, afraid to do something wrong, needing to be told what to do, and how to do it. I have gotten past a limiting ego with awareness (mindfulness) of this likely possibility, and still have work to ingrain learned optimism. (A new area of thought and group therapy I will begin within the next couple months) In addition, I need to put myself through thought exercises to feel an emotional charge to change. I need to experience, or see, the pain that I am causing myself by staying the course of avoiding risk. I know I have changed in the last few months just for the fact that I no longer experience intense anxiety when speaking in front of a group of people.(of under 20 people) I feel that I am getting connected, and on the path I am designing for myself. There are multiple issues that I am uncovering, and conquering. Why psychologists don’t stay long? I could come up with assumptions, but I am learning to accept things as they are asking myself, Why ask why? Is it useful for me to understand? If not, I want to move on clearing many questions from my thoughts. If somebody comes up with the reason I would like to know, but I’d say that being connected, we are getting answers, or strokes. These human needs are being fulfilled elsewhere, or are no longer a need. I am going to start taking my medication soon. If this helps me maintain a desired state, I'll take them until, hopefully, the state becomes habitual. Thanks for this insightful forum(and thread)

I was prescribed BUPROPION recently, but have held off taking it, because I have been coming a long way with CBT and CPT. I am much more relaxed and confident replacing past irrational, distorted, thoughts, emotions/feelings, and beliefs with reasoned new thoughts and beliefs. As I understand it, these past emotions are reflected in, and while, dealing with trades. I have been reluctant to try it because of negative messages out there about medications. I am reconsidering giving it a try. It just may be what I need in combination with my new mind skills. My psychiatrist said it would give me more umph. I wanted to try something to help me to take action when I see opportunities. I will give myself another couple weeks before I start taking BUPROPION. It takes up to eight weeks before its full effects hits me. ( I wish I could try it one morning or week) There I go with habitual, All or None, Jumping to conclusions, emotional reasoning, disregarding important aspects, etc. It is so good for me to journal and recognize when I do this to myself. This is the tool I newly acquired to catch myself, decide to change, and start thinking properly with a more accurate interpretation of reality. (The truth)

I could use help changing a conditioning, or programming, from my youth. I have an implicit belief, and financial mindset, of lacking. When young my parents could not afford to give us money for the ice cream truck, etc. I have struggled financially even when making 85,000 to 100,000 a year as a glazing subcontractor. Never spending to enjoy myself. Now, I have the ability to make more money than I need with trading, but am not putting my money up to risk. I have narrowed my problem down to having a mindset of lack when what is needed is a mindset of abundance. If I were to tell somebody else who had my problem what to do, but I can not do it myself. Amazing! Not really, after understanding more and more of how the brain functions. (I have core beliefs that others will begrudge me, yet I see others who are not afraid of this at all, but still I have these worries)