I have been through nothing less than pure hell to myself and what was a good retirement account.
Stepped away for a while. Went back and found TWO... only TWO types of trades/edges to work on. Studied paper charts for a few more weeks on just those setups. Every trade I maked exact entry point and exit/scale and stop.
Then I printed a few hundred charts, assembled them randomly, and used a piece of paper to uncover one bar at a time looking for those setups.
Meanwhile, I read 'Trading in the Zone' for probably the 40ith time. I still read a few pages every single day. What is bothering you is a few key things from the book I believe.
You are not letting your mind think in probabilities, the fact that you have just as much chance of that trade going up 4 points as it would down 4 points. I think it is especially tough after getting a beat on to let a trade work itself out instead of pulling as soon as a little bit profitable.
When you loose, or loose a lot, your mind has not accepted the risk of trading, or putting on a trade. You will loose. It's part of the game. Trading in the zone's most important aspect is to try to rewire your brain to accept losses as part of 'winning'
Good luck, I feel your pain.